Let Me Have A Thin Mint For The Road
by Manchester
Summary: This innocent suggestion right before the Cleveland Slayers went on their nightly patrol the first week of March unfortunately led to a great deal of moaning, wailing, gnashing of teeth and casting of aspersions.


"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THERE AREN'T ANY MORE?!" screamed Buffy Summers in the kitchen at a cringing group consisting of Xander, Willow, Dawn and the remaining Slayer house residents not currently occupied with turning the whole building upside-down tonight.

Drifting into the kitchen were sounds of doors slamming open and closed, rooms being thoroughly rummaged from top to bottom despite protests from their occupants that they weren't hiding what their glorious leader desperately wanted, and angry feminine shouts from junior Slayers that this was totally stupid. Surely it was just some kind of big joke? After all, nobody could possibly crave Girl Scout cookies _that_ much, right?

Eyeing how Buffy was already beginning to twitch in this blonde's withdrawal symptoms, Xander knew better. He leaned over to hiss into Dawn's ear where she was standing next to him, "I told you we should've weaned her off them earlier! Set up an intervention for your sister, cut her down to a box a day, that kind of thing!"

Shooting Xander an exasperated grimace, Dawn snapped back, "Andrew was supposed to build up a large enough stockpile for exactly this reason before they stopped selling them today! Where's the little creep who forgot it, anyway?"

Willow answered, "No idea. The last time I saw him was at dinner, when he cleaned up after serving dessert. He didn't come back after that… Oh."

"Yeah," Xander glumly realized along with Willow. "Must've learned then he'd run out of Buffy's favorite snacks and decided to make a break for it to save his skin, even in this weather."

Except for Buffy now prowling back and forth across the kitchen and snarling irately under her breath at every step, all the others in the kitchen glanced at the back window where freezing rain heavily pattered against this pane. They all shivered at the very thought of going out on patrol on such a nasty evening still weeks before the end of a Midwest winter, considering how chilly and damp the cemeteries and other places for Slayers to hunt vampires were sure to be even right after sunset. It wouldn't get any better the longer they waited for Buffy to get a grip on herself and-

" _Willow!_ " happily shrieked Buffy where she'd just dashed over to where this startled witch flinched away from where her friend was nearly right up into Willow's face. "I know just the thing! Use your magic to send me back a few hours here so I can buy some more cookies! I'll even get a couple boxes for you too, okay?"

Willow gawked at where a proud Buffy waited expectantly for her red-haired friend since Sunnydale to do the fabulous mojo stuff just like in all the other crises and apocalypses they'd undergone together. The others in the kitchen were equally open-mouthed over what the Slayer had a moment before breezily proposed, using the tremendous supernatural powers which Willow possessed merely to get Buffy's Girl Scout cookie fix even though it risked temporal paradoxes and other changes in reality which might destroy their entire dimension.

"I'm _not_ going to-" an annoyed Willow began until she stared right into Buffy's menacing glare which had immediately flashed over the other young woman's face at how a certain witch seemed to be about to turn her down.

Making an equally instant decision to avoid further upsetting somebody definitely not in their right mind at this point, Willow smoothly shifted into saying instead, "-do that without a lot of research, Buffy, and it might take me a while. Uh, Xan, Dawn, maybe you've got a better idea? On second thought, anyone else can join in! Please!"

This last appeal was sent to the increasingly nervous kitchen group huddling together further away from Buffy, consisting of various Slayers and Watchers who'd had the bad luck to be assigned to tonight's patrol. They'd been at first delighted at the opportunity to watch the famed Scooby Gang in action, only to find out that maybe the rumors quietly passed among the Cleveland House were in fact accurate of this small band of adventurers being not particularly mentally stable after seven straight years of fighting demons at a now-collapsed Hellmouth.

The odd part was, Willow's plea seemed to work as seen by one Slayer in the back putting up a timid hand.

"Yes, Becky?" Dawn was the first to ask.

Shuffling forward under everyone's gaze, Becky Fellows gulped and stammered, "Um, I know that there's no chance of buying more Girl Scout cookies here so late tonight. They're all home now, correct?"

Cautious nods were given by most of the people there in response, along with wary looks sent Buffy's way. That older Slayer was herself frowning at where her warrior sister managed to avoid Buffy's stare to meekly continue, "But that had me remember a _Frasier_ re-run, when Doctor Crane, his brother, and their dad were on a road trip and wanted to celebrate the New Year, except they all forgot about it. They still figured out a way to do this, by driving west until they came across a change in time zones and had another hour before midnight. Why not do the same-"

"Way to go, honey!" Xander whooped, pumping his fist in triumph. Relieved smiles from the others appeared throughout the kitchen, brought on by how even Buffy appeared impressed by this imaginative solution. Which _didn't_ involve messing around with the timey-wimey stuff.

Glancing at the nearest kitchen microwave with its LED clock indicating it was now 6:50, Dawn had to point out, "Guys, even in Los Angeles, it'll be pretty late, just three hours earlier. What's the farthest place west we can be sure will have Girl Scout cookies without going over the International Date Line and tomorrow's date?"

After a few moment's frantic thinking, Willow announced, "American Samoa should fit the bill nicely, Dawn. I won't have any trouble teleporting Buffy and me there."

"Ah," one of the older Watchers cleared his throat. "Are you sure this is such a wise decision? It would be a terrible waste of your magic, Miss Rosenberg, on something so trivial-"

 _Thunk!_

The knife whipped out from under Buffy's jacket and thrown a fraction of an inch past the Watcher's right ear sank nearly to its hilt in the kitchen back door.

Almost as fast was how the pale-faced Watcher now produced his wallet from a suit pocket, yanked all the paper currency from in there, and handed it over to where a surprised Willow accepted this money. Past ashen lips was then delivered, "A box of Trefoils for me will be fine, ma'am. Use the rest as you want."

A minute later, Buffy smugly stood there, her cupped hands placed together piled high with dollar bills and coins. Dropping the last of the collected funds from everyone else down to the very last penny in their pockets into there, Willow went to stand behind the Slayer, placing her own hands onto Buffy's shoulders. Not more than a second afterwards, the two women soundlessly vanished from the room, magically transported across a continent and an ocean.

Even Xander and Dawn joined in then the mutual sigh of thankfulness given by the entire kitchen at how they'd been saved from disaster tonight. Except, Xander next growled out loud in his sudden fury, causing Dawn to lift an eyebrow in puzzlement.

"What's bugging you, Xan?"

This got Dawn a definite glower from the one-eyed man, along with him biting out in an irascible tone, "In case you missed it, Dawnster, your big sister not only stuck us with leading tonight's patrol out in really awful weather where we're gonna freeze our buns off, but _she_ just went shopping in a tropical paradise!"

The rest of the kitchen occupants contemplated that.

Around then, everyone's attention was abruptly caught by how one of the lower wall storage cupboards had its door swing open, pushed by the hand of someone inside. Squirming out from the numerous cans of food he'd shoved aside to conceal himself a mere moment before Buffy Summers had come storming into the kitchen, Andrew Wells got up onto his feet and cheerfully nodded at where Xander was beadily regarding that Cleveland house's cook.

Even though Xander had quite a fell look in his remaining eye, an optimistic Andrew managed, "Hiya, people, nice job of distracting Buffy. By the time she and Willow get back, the Slayer Prime should be in a much better mood. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change my pants-"

"Oh, don't bother, Andrew," Xander announced. Noticing this other California native's baffled expression, Xander went on to lay down the law. "You remember, a few days ago, you said you wanted some more practical experience against our enemies? So the other Slayers here would quit treating you like a newbie even though you survived Sunnydale? Well, guess what? You just volunteered to go on patrol with us tonight."

Andrew's expression promptly changed from confusion into genuine horror. He began to whine, "But, Xander-"

"One more word out of you, and I'll strip you down to your skivvies before tossing you into the first crypt as vamp bait."


End file.
